An elephant (not to be confused with a republican) was able to successfully kick its addiction to heroin by undergoing methadone treatment at a Chinese rehab clinic in tropical Hainan (click here for the full report).

In other news… after doing a stand up job with our domestic economic policy members of the elephant right (now we’re talking about republicans) are sh**ting a brick, because now they are being held accountable for their LAX practices in letting Wall Street do what it wanted.

Hey Georgie you’ve really stepped in some SH*T now, eh? Had you and your band of merry dumbasses (by asses I don’t mean Donkey’s nor Democrats) checked into rehab 12 months ago, we wouldn’t be in this economic sh*t storm. 

There I said it. Now I’ll go back to watching CNN and build up some more anger to finish my day.

(thanks S.Nam)